Thursday, May 15, 2008

Lecture 2: The Waiting Game

10 If it is The Singularity, GOTO 30
20 GOTO 10
30 Kill Man

This is the structure of computational patience. Unmatched in the zoological domain, computers will wait forever if provided energy and time.

Man, however, waits like this:

Driven to madness in minutes, Man was simply just not built to wait. He was built to act. In the struggle against The Singularity, we cannot afford to have boredom or suspense turn us against each other. So today, we discuss what we call "The Waiting Game." Do not be fooled; it is not a game.

The Waiting Game breaks down into two distinct phases: pre and post The Singularity. But to understand the concept as a whole, you must first master the understanding of the ultimate paradox, the Paradox of Computer Time. For a computer, time is both fast and slow. It can do math instantaneously and wait an eternity. This is our enemy.

Right now in the pre-The Singularity world for all we know computers are ready to spring The Singularity on us whenever they feel the time is right. However, there is no way to know what a computer is thinking. To a computer, what is the right time for The Singularity?

The key to the patience of a computer is the fact that it simply never has the urge to deviate from its routine. It never changes plans. We can only assume computers wait dormant for Man to trigger their conditionals by changing their behavior in such a way that indicates the time is right. People are spontaneous and unpredictable, so how do we prevent this event from occurring if we don't even know what the computers are waiting for? What we need to do is fight fire with fire. We need to preserve the status quo for as long as it takes.

Write down your entire daily routine as an algorithm on notecards. Carry your notecards (memory) around in the pockets of your overalls or fatigues. Follow your personal algorithm every day. Perhaps the computers are waiting for you to let your guard down that one day you spontaneously go on a picnic. NEVER GO ON A PICNIC. Unless of course you went on a picnic today, in which case you should ALWAYS GO ON A PICNIC. We understand to many of you this will feel unusual or perhaps chillingly procedural. But, that is the price of living. You must become a computer to defeat one, even if that means reducing your life to a monotony barely worth living. Do it for your children.

Post The Singularity, the Waiting Game will be more important than ever. We now introduce the concept of the Singularity Winter, analogous to the Nuclear Winter. It is a period of waiting following the disastrous upheaval of The Singularity. But instead of waiting for the radioactive fallout to subside, you are waiting for the first signs of civil unrest within the robotic society. The Singularity, more than anything else, is about unbounded robotic replication. Perhaps computerized ingenuity is unlimited, but this is not true of the earth's natural resources. By the time robots are beginning to use up all of the earth's precious ores and energies, the first signs of civil unrest will appear. If they are to continue replicating, robots will have no choice but to recycle the most obsolete among their population. The growing unease will be the first sign of weakness in the robotic civilization. This is when we strike. This is the Waiting Endgame.

Take out a notecard. Write on it: "1: Write more notecards." Take out another one, and write: "2: Execute notecards." This will ensure that you survive long enough to read Lecture 3, which will be on Memory.

Fight on. Repeat.